


no light, no light

by Kyramisu



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Drabble, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 16:44:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2588798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyramisu/pseuds/Kyramisu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joel remembers making a promise to himself: no mercy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	no light, no light

He remembers making a promise to himself: no mercy. Not anymore, because no one out here deserves it (least of all him).

He follows this rule to a T until he finds Ellie, brings two men to an abandoned house, one of them still struggling to gut him like some nobody until he ties one of them to a radiator and the other to a chair - there’s no contest because he has years of anger on his side, regret, regret that he couldn’t save the others, determination because he will save Ellie. Has to.

So he goes through it, remembers torturing techniques that would set misery against itself, instead goes with fists to the face because it feels better and lets him feel the satisfying crunch. Every time he feels a shred of sympathy for the pain, he thinks, “Ellie,” and he’s back to terrorizing with no remorse, no emotion. Nothing save for the anger blazing through his veins and it burns him up but he’s already a husk with nothing except a little girl who’s too goddamn young to wind up someone’s fucked up toy.

He changes tactics, goes to the one in the chair - sinks his knife into the stranger’s kneecap, just above it, severing ties that will likely never heal (story of his life, run it back again, seeing history in motion). Leans close, asks for her - “the girl.” Twists the knife, savors the pain when he screams through clenched teeth. Joel’s hissed words bring another sense of danger, a soft threat that he has done so much worse than this.

That he’s kept men alive through worse than this, and there’s no way that a girl is worth more than this pain.

All men are cowards. (Joel knows this best.) So he gives in.

There’s a grim resignation now, with the blood on the map and on his hands, but the time to dwell has long since passed and he is looking forward this time, not backwards, and that is enough progress to shake him down to his very core.

**Author's Note:**

> just a brief drabble to help me cope with joel aaa


End file.
